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I haven't seen it, but I know it ain't as cheerful as this cover is portraying it to be!

(If this is your first time on this blog, I ask you to read my “About” page first! You can find a link to it at the top left-hand corner of this blog. Thanks!)

MGM’s “The Wizard of Oz” was a musical film that became a classic! It’s been loved and adored by children and families alike for generations. The songs have been instilled into modern culture as well as the characters. Hence it wasn’t long before other film adaptations based on the books were made in an effort to capture the success that “The Wizard of Oz” brought.

The Disney company was also among those who got into the action. Last year, for example, they released a film intended to be a prequel to “The Wizard of Oz” called, “Oz: The Great and Powerful”. I thought it was quite good and you can find my review of it here.

But in 1985, Disney make a “sequel” to the classic film entitled “Return to Oz”. It would be nothing like the original film in terms of tone and would instead be a quite dark and macabre tale bereft of songs and musical numbers. Most likely due to this change in tone, the film was a box office flop, but managed to gain a cult following over the years.

So is the film bad or good? Let’s find out on the yellow brick road of reviewing! Ha, see what I did there? Yellow brick road of re….umm…ok…moving on!

And remember, SPOILERS AHEAD!

The movie takes place a few months after Dorothy’s adventures in Oz. Dorothy, played by Fairuza Balk,

She seems to have gotten extremely younger than she was in "The Wizard of Oz". Maybe she traveled at the speed of light back to Kansas causing her to grow younger.

She seems to have gotten extremely younger than she was in “The Wizard of Oz”. Maybe she traveled at the speed of light back to Kansas causing her to grow younger.

can’t seem to stop talking about the wonderful land of Oz which causes her Aunt Em, played by Piper Laurie, to worry. She believes that Oz was just a hallucination of Dorothy’s and that Dorothy may be having serious mental problems causing her to believe that her trip was real.

(An interesting thing to point out is that the three workers who were working for Aunt Em and Uncle Henry in “The Wizard of Oz” don’t appear at all in this film. Actually, Aunt Em and Uncle Henry don’t seem to have ANY farmhands! Did they just fire the trio soon after the twister for…I dunno…influencing Dorothy’s dreams with their likenesses?)

"Em, why did we fire our three farmhands?" "Henry, we just can't have them around; they're too much of a temptation for Dorothy." "And yet if these farmhands were women, we'd be criticized for being anti-feminist." "Oh hush, Henry!"

“Em, why did we fire our three farmhands?”
“Henry, we just can’t have them around; they’re too much of a temptation for Dorothy.”
“And yet if these farmhands were women, we’d be criticized for being anti-feminist.”
“Oh hush, Henry!”

Exactly how sure is Dorothy that her journey was real? Well, one day after a meteor shower, she finds a random key on the farm with the letters, “OZ” carved on it. She then logically assumed that it’s a key sent by the Scarecrow to Dorothy via a meteor that passed by on the previous night. I mean, how can anyone not come to that conclusion?!

"Henry, did you carve the letters, 'OZ', on our house key and leave it outside?" "Yeah, I thought it'd be a nice gift for her." "You're really too much, you know!"

“Henry, did you carve the letters, ‘OZ’, on our house key and leave it outside?”
“Yeah, I thought it’d be a nice gift for her.”
“You’re really too much, you know!”

Because of this and other events, Aunt Em decides that Dorothy is in need of treatment, so she takes her to a “doctor” in town who specializes in electrotherapy (a new way of treatment at the time). Dr. Worley, played by Nicol Williamson, suggests that electricity flowing through Dorothy’s body is enough to get her to stop the hallucinations. (Of course, he doesn’t tell this to Dorothy or Aunt Em, at least not in those exact words).

"Will it hurt? Of course it won't, my dear. Did Benjamin Franklin get hurt when he flew his kite in the lightning storm? No, he did not. Of course, what we're going to do is more dangerous tenfold, but I assure you I'm as trustworthy as a python amongst a herd of sheep." "Uh..." "Don't try to figure that out; you'll cause more damage to your head!"

“Will it hurt? Of course it won’t, my dear. Did Benjamin Franklin get hurt when he flew his kite in the lightning storm? No, he did not. Of course, what we’re going to do is more dangerous tenfold, but I assure you I’m as trustworthy as a python amongst a herd of sheep.”
“Uh…”
“Don’t try to figure that out; you’ll cause more damage to your head!”

Being content with the facility, Aunt Em leaves Dorothy there with the intention of coming back to pick her up when the treatment is over. After she leaves, Dorothy is left under the care of Head Nurse Wilson, played by Jean Marsh. The nurse takes Dorothy to a room where she’s locked in until it’s time for the operation.

Still dreaming about Oz and whether or not the Scarecrow DID send the key, she suddenly sees a random girl in her room with her…despite the room being empty before and the door being locked! And like all young girls people, she isn’t curious AT ALL about this and doesn’t question this at all! Because we all would’ve done the same, right?

"Don't ask. Don't tell. That's what I always say."

“Don’t ask. Don’t tell. That’s what I always say.”

Finally, the time for the operation arrives and the Head Nurse Wilson comes to collect Dorothy and asks her if she wants a ride.

"Rides on stretchers while being clasped down are totally IN at the moment!"

“Rides on stretchers while being clasped down are totally IN at the moment!”

As Dorothy goes on her “ride”, she starts to fear about what’s going to happen and starts to lose trust in the “medical genius” of the establishment. Thankfully before the operation commences, a storm occurs that causes a blackout. Whilst Dr. Worley and Head Nurse Wilson rush to get the lights back on, the random girl appears out of nowhere and helps Dorothy escape and like before, Dorothy doesn’t question her being there.

"Don't task, don't all. That's what I always say." "What the.." "Oh, never mind. It's dark so I can't think straight." "What the...." "NEVER MIND!"

“Don’t task, don’t all. That’s what I always say.”
“What the..”
“Oh, never mind. It’s dark so I can’t think straight.”
“What the….”
“NEVER MIND!”

They both run into the storm away from the establishment until they come to a raging river. In the end, the random girl apparently drowns and Dorothy wakes up in a chicken coop in the land of Oz. Oh boy, are storms the only method of transportation to the land of Oz?

Looks more like Bedrock City than Oz!

Looks more like Bedrock City than Oz!

Anyway, she realizes where she is and notices a hen from her aunt’s farm named Bellina with her in the chicken coop. So in this film, we don’t get a dog named Toto as Dorothy’s companion; instead we get a talking hen who has trouble laying eggs as Dorothy’s companion. Lucky us!

"Why so anti-chicken? Do you work for Chik-fil-A or something?"

“Why so anti-chicken? Do you work for Chik-fil-A or something?”

Dorothy soon discovers that Oz is quite different from when she remembered. No Munchkins seem to be around, the yellow brick road has been nigh destroyed, and the Emerald City seems to have lost its emeralds as well as life. All the inhabitants are stoned (I mean TURNED into stone)

They also seem to have completely lost their heads!

They also seem to have completely lost their heads! As Bellina would say, “That’s what I call just plain carelessness!”

and there’s no sign of the Scarecrow. But, we do have the Wheelers!

"Yep, my whole family has relocated to Oz."

“Yep, my whole family has relocated to Oz.”

No, I mean, the Wheelers!

"Why so serious?"

“Why so serious?”

Yes, the Wheelers: frightening gangs on four legs’ worth of wheels who speak in male versions of the Wicked Witch of the West’s voice, terrorize Dorothy, and have an extreme prejudice against chickens (Bellina) for some reason.

Dorothy runs away from the Wheelers into a secret room (opened by that mysterious key she correctly assumed was from Oz) and wonders how to get out from there without running into the Wheelers again.

In this secret room, she meets the most awesome character of the film, a sort of robot soldier named Tik-Tok. Tik-Tok is a machine, but can talk, move, and even think depending on whether or not you wind those particular motors on his back.

I want a Tik-Tok! Where can I get my Tik-Tok?

I want a Tik-Tok! Where can I get my Tik-Tok?

As Dorothy manages to wind him up, they instantly become friends and Tik-Tok helps her leave the secret room and take care of the Wheelers.

"Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, Wheeler?"

“Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, Wheeler?”

By now, Tik-Tok tells Dorothy what’s been going on: a figure called the Nome King has taken over Emerald City and taken the Scarecrow prisoner. In an effort to help, both Dorothy and Tik-Tok (and Bellina, of course) head to a local witch named Mombi for help. Mombi is Head Nurse Wilson’s Oz counterpart, hence played by the same actress, and has an interesting head on her shoulders. I mean, has interesting MULTIPLE HEADS ON HER SHOULDERS AT DIFFERENT TIMES! You see, the witch decapitates women with heads that she adores, stores the heads, and wears different heads on different days as to her liking.

I can just hear them singing a female version of "Grim Grinning Ghosts"!

I can just hear them singing a female version of “Grim Grinning Ghosts”!

And when she sees Dorothy’s face, she realizes that when Dorothy gets older, her face will be quite pretty. This of course means that Mombi must have it! So instead of helping, Mombi captures Dorothy and locks her in her attic. In the attic, Dorothy meets a live talking pumpkin figure named Jack,

"You called?"

“You called?”

no it’s actually a pumpkin-headed figure named Jack…Pumpkinhead.

"What the....?!"

“What the….?!”

Ignore him. THIS is what Jack Pumpkinhead looks like.

I mean, were you expecting anything else?

I mean, were you expecting anything else?

Jack Pumpkinhead seems to think that Dorothy is his mother whom he hasn’t seen in years….

…..

….

umm….

moving on….

and tells Dorothy that he’s alive because of a secret potion that Mombi has in her cabinet. So Dorothy quickly devises a plan. She uses a moose’s head from the attic, and with the help of Tik-Tok and Jack (and Bellina, of course), puts the head on a couch, attaches wings made of palm leaves, escapes from the attic, steals the potion, makes the moose-headed flying couch come to life….

…..

…..

…..

umm….

moving on….

and flies away from Mombi with her friends!

I want a flying moose-headed couch! I wonder if IKEA sells them.

I want a flying moose-headed couch! I wonder if IKEA sells them.

Where are they headed? Well, they decide to fly straight towards the Nome King’s mountain to deal with him once and for all. Once there, Dorothy tells the Nome King

He appears as a face in the rocky mountain.

He appears as a face in the rocky mountain. Sigh…a lot of stoned characters in this film!

to give back what he stole because it’s not nice to steal.

"Uh....yeah, that's not gonna happen."

“Uh….yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”

When that doesn’t work, she threatens to attack him with her army of a robotic soldier in need of winding, a pumpkin-headed character (with a non-egg-laying hen hiding inside his head so that not even the Nome King knows she’s there), and a flying, talking, moose-headed, be-winged couch…..

……

……

……

umm…..

Yeah, this doesn’t really frighten the Nome King all that much, to be honest….

"Uh....yeah, your army needs a little bit of work. You should have had a training montage."

“Uh….yeah, your army needs a little bit of work. You should have had a training montage.”

…moving on…

The Nome King then decides to make a deal with Dorothy. He owns many valuables/trinkets and has transformed the Scarecrow into one of them. And he allows all four of them (he doesn’t see Bellina, of course) to go into his trinket room one-by-one and make three guesses each as to which of the trinkets is the Scarecrow. If they’re right, the Scarecrow comes back to life, if not, they all turn into ornaments themselves.

Long story short, they all start turning into ornaments which makes the Nome King become more and more human (and since he’s Dr. Worley’s Oz counterpart, he’s played by the same actor)

Electric power in one world, rocky power in another!

Electric power in one world, rocky power in another!

until it’s Dorothy’s turn and on her last try, she gets it right!

The Scarecrow was apparently an emerald-like ornament and she comes to the conclusion that her other friends have become green ornaments themselves, so the Scarecrow and she look to find and un-transform their friends which they do, but not before the Nome King gets mad!

"NOME KING MAD!!!!"

“NOME KING MAD!!!!”

They’re about to be destroyed, Jack in particular who’s about to be eaten, when Bellina pops out of his eye socket

"Did you miss me?"

“Did you miss me?”

causing the Nome King to panic. Then she finally lays her first egg right into the Nome King’s mouth. And now we finally learn why the Nome King, the Wheelers, and everybody is apprehensive about chickens…it’s because eggs are poisonous and can destroy people which is precisely what happens to the Nome King!

"You cursed brats! Look what you've done! I'm melting...MELTING!!!!"

“You cursed brats! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting…MELTING!!!!”

(So, the Wicked Witch of the West was destroyed by water and the Nome King was destroyed by eggs. At least the Wicked Witch of the East was destroyed by a house…that makes the most sense.)

With him dead, the people of Emerald City become un-stoned, Mombi gets arrested, and the citizens of Emerald City want Dorothy to become their ruler. But Dorothy can’t stay, cuz she has to go home, where there’s no place like.

But before she goes, she manages to find a girl there named Ozma. She’s actually that same girl who helped Dorothy escape from the electrotherapy establishment earlier and tells Dorothy that she was Mombi’s prisoner for a long time. Mombi imprisoned her inside mirrors, which was why Dorothy was able to see and interact with her in Kansas (Kansas is apparently right through the looking-glass of Oz or vice-versa).

The physics and sciences of Wonderland make more sense than that of Oz!

The physics and sciences of Wonderland make more sense than that of Oz!

And not only that, but she’s also a Princess, the true ruler of Oz, and the real mother of Jack Pumpkinhead!

…..

………..

…………………..

……………………………….

Sigh…ok, let’s wrap up. Princess Ozma sends Dorothy back to Kansas where Uncle Henry and a search party find her unconscious in the forest. Apparently, she’s been missing for days and the storm burned the asylum down killing Dr. Worley and Nurse Head Wilson in the process.

"I'm not fond of that ending...just thought I'd let you know."

“I’m not fond of that ending…just thought I’d let you know.”

The film ends with Dorothy back on the farm more cheerful and helpful to her Uncle and Aunt while still being able to talk with Princess Ozma through the mirror.

This film is so weird and so dark that you just can’t help loving it! I really enjoyed watching this, even though I was weirded out by this many, many times!

I can totally see how kids can be frightened by this movie as it does have many scary elements. But with that aside, the film is quite interesting! The special effects are good for its time and don’t look horribly dated now either. The acting is….ok….Fairuza Balk is both bland and passable at the same time, but she’s just a kid, so I can’t judge her too harshly.

"Thanks....I think."

“Thanks….I think.”

If you haven’t seen this, please do! Just don’t expect anything like “The Wizard of Oz”.

(You can click on the image below for an enlarged version of my rating sheet.)

returntoozrating 

So, the final score for this film is 31/35 = 88.57% (B+) ! 

The next review will be posted on March 17th.

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